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When all my kids were living at home, it was a big deal for us to "do" the holidays, at least for the 1st year. My oldest son always went to his Gramma's house for the holiday and I'd ship part of his presents there and keep 1/2 at home to open on Jan. 6th which is traditional 3 Kings day. But when Dah's children moved up with us, they brought a whole new set of "issues" for a season which I truly despised and often chose to work instead of celebrating.
The 1st year we had all the kids up from Jamaica, I went out of my way to have a "traditional" holiday except that Dave was at his Gram's and it was just BC, the girls and me. Having never had girls, and me not being a girly girl, really had me obsessing over what to get them.
Barbies in the appropriate skin tone had just come on the market so those were a must but also all the little things that went with it. Clothes too and shoes, which I'd learned was the greatest gift you could ever give someone in Jamaica. I spent days and hours looking for just the "right" things.
Christmas came and they opened all their presents then promptly asked if they could spend the rest of the holiday with their Aunt Monica in NJ. Dah of course was ecstatic because that meant we could drop them off and run to Atlantic City.
The youngest daughter's birthday was in February. I got her some new clothes for her Barbie and some other trinkets. When she opened them, she said ..oh I thought you'd get me a doll for them. She didn't even remember that barely 2 months earlier she'd gotten the latest market version of that doll.
It was a wake up call. The next chirstmas, I planned an "event" for them. We took the train on Christmas Eve to Hershey PA and stayed in an old farm house B&B. then on Christmas day I had their stockings but the trip was their "gift". We then went to Lancaster PA and spent the day in Amish country and ended up on "boxing" day in Philadelphia where we took a carriage ride, ate at Book Binder Restaurant (established in the mid 1800's) and then took the train the next day back to NYC.
and from then on every holiday we spent each one "somewhere" ..they even got into planning it. To this day they still talk about the "christmas we went to....."
And so the tradition continues..trying to find the balance and create a memory. Dah called today, apologizing because business has been bad and he can't give Spud much money this year. I told him, as always, it's not about the money but the time and I reminded him about the trips with the kids and how they still talk about it. I had booked us (spud and I) for 2 nights at one of the hotels here and invited Dah (and the OBM) to come along. So we are meeting on Christmas morning to have breakfast with him.
Originally I was only going to book for Christmas night but upon reflection, I decided that we'd go on Christmas eve..have a nice dinner and relax..perhaps I can even convince MJ to grab the visiting Canuck and come down for a toddy or 2.
Then tonight Spud says to me, I hope you got me lots of gift cards because I already know what you got me from Amazon/Think Geek and Borders.
Well I didn't.
I thought that since he normally gets piles of "stuff" all year long that having a nice 2 days together would be enough.
And it will have to be because my shopping is officially done. I did place a sneaky order to Pete's Gourmet today but that is to decorate our Bingo Table.
Where does one find a balance???
