I know i've blogged about this before but if I'm not meeting one of my pals for lunch on Tuesday while the Spudmeister is in school, I usually go shopping at Von's on Sahara @ Decatur. 

I realized yesterday, the reason I return to this store is that it's like going to a Jerry Springer or Maury show.  If you live in Vegas and want to feel that your life is better than someone else, go to this Von's ..sit and play nickles in slut er slot area and just listen. 

In 3 hours of being there yesterday (with 45 minutes taken out for actual shopping) here is what I found out:

The security guard, a married man, thinks he got his g/f preggo.  Its not as if he's such a prize..i mean truely how does he support the one daughter he has now.  He doesn't believe in abortion but was surfing his cell phones web browser looking to buy the "morning after pill" ..which he found for 39.00 from Canada that includes shipping.  The the next 30 minutes were about 1) If he should pay for it, or make the chick pay for it  2) should he even tell her about the pill or slip her a "mickey" 3) and NOT telling his wife..so everyone he told..it went like "yeah but my wife doesn't know so don't say anything".. turns out his G/F works at the Sheplers and trust me, the thought crossed my mind to go tell her about the "rufie' she is about to be slipped because the concensus was.. if she wanted the kid, it was best not to suggest using the Morning After pill.

if she already "thinks" she's Preggo..it's a bit late for the Morning After pill and yes I did restrain myself from putting my big ass into the conversation..

and he was holding this convo with the British lady who monitors the slut/slot area..

< insert informational explanation > Slut machines are any slot or video poker machines that take your money but give nothing in return.  Which for me yesterday wouldn't be the case since I left with the exact about I came in with, including the 120.00 i spent in groceries.  < end-o slut commentary >

Now this lady had her own issues.. her husband of 28 years has been diagnosed with cancer of the pancreous the day before and was at the hospital having his Pre-op testing.  I'm sure that the last thing on her mind was this rent-a-cop's constant droning about his situation.  did i mention his hesitation in ordering it because he'd have to get it from Canada and that wouldn't be stimulating the US economy which is what his check was meant to do?? Anyway..this poor Brit's husband was lost at the hospital by himself so he was calling every 10-15 minutes.  Finally found the place he was supposed to go.   The swing shift woman showed up shortly after 2pm after being on vacation for a week.  The news was exchanged.. the preggo situation, the vacation recap and the cancer news.  The Brit lady was telling Ms. Swing that she'd be out "tomorrow" then back again on Thursday but hadn't told the office yet until she got home. 

Well within about 10 minutes of Ms. Brit walking out the door, Ms. Swing was on the phone with what I could only assume was a relative telling her to call the office and put in for Ms. Brit's shift because over the next 6-8 weeks while her husband was in the hospital, she'd be in and out from work and maybe, suggested Ms. Swing, that the person on the other end of the phone could get transferred over to that shift. Leaving Ms. Brit as a fill-in to travel over the area instead of her own steady store.

Top this off with their new directive..listen up to anyone who plays at the Terrible's owned slot areas in the grocery/drug stores around town.  If you win more than 1K at a time, they are instructed to secretly write down your description, try to get a copy of the ID --tho technically it's not required here in NV unless your win is over I think 1200.00. They've been given a new form from the DOJ.and the purpose is to look for money laundrying.  Also they are to watch and see if someone is putting a lot of cash into a machine..like several hundred dollar bills and then playing a few hands before cashing out.  Apparently this is a "new" thing.  I don't understand why someone who wants to "launder" money would go to a small 10-15 bank slot area and not some larger casino such as Venetian etc..where they would go undetected But this is WHY I don't work for the DOJ.  After all they are the keepers of the Patriot Act.

And speaking of the Patriot Act, the cashier who I've blogged about before, was in his usual conspiracy form yesterday.. everything from the "run on rice" is because China is hording it to Bush visiting Saudi's and then oil goes up to 130.00 per barrel.  and this is to every person in line.  he is able to connect something from their shopping cart to some political event in the news. 

And he stated what all those of us who were at least 10 yrs old in 1969 were thinking.  Karma is a bitch.. and Mary Jo Kopechne's family is having the last laugh.

So if you love to people watch and want to feel better about your own life situation, spend a few minutes here and trust me you'll leave loving your life. 

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